Happiness is ...

Happiness is ...

Maslow's hierarchy of needs are as follows:

1. Biological needs - air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sex, sleep. These are the most basic of needs. If these are not met, we feel discomfort, pain, illness.

2. Safety needs - protection from elements, security, order, law. To an extent these are psychological needs. The need to impose some sort of order on the world.

3. Love needs - family, affection, relationships. We are social animals. We like to feel needed, as if we belong.

4. Esteem needs - self-esteem, achievement, independence, status. An extension of Love needs but in a wider social and professional context.

5. Self-Actualization needs - realising personal potential, self-fulfillment, seeking personal growth. The highest level of need concerning intellectual, spiritual and emotional development.

Achievment of each level leads to a yearning for the next. Conversely, the higher levels cannot be achieved unless the lower level needs are in place - you won't want to study for a degree if you don't have food to eat or somewhere to live.
The lowest level of need is shared with most if not all living things. Most living things also seek order and stability. Many animals have complex social groupings, some forming lasting relationships with peers and offspring very similar to human relationsips. It is at levels 4 and 5 that, as far as we are currently aware, that we diverge from other living creatures. To quote Data, in Star Trek Nemesis,
"I aspire, sir, to be better than I am."

I asked Hubby what happiness is for him. He has simple needs - "my wife, my PC, money"! Don't mis-judge the last point. Money itself cannot make you happy, but money can be used as a tool to achieve happiness:
* to pay off debts for less financial stress,
* to learn new skills and develop new hobbies,
* to visit new places,
* to help others,
* to have someone to do my housework while I'm at work so I can come home to some freshly baked cakes, prepped vegetables and a casserole in the oven (I wish!)

See? :o)

Going back to Maslow, I have achieved one and two (although personal safety in London is something that has to be worked at!) and thankfully I have three. Four and five, I think, are goals that probably take a lifetime of work.

So, what is happiness to me:
Snuggling up with my hubby.
Green and Blacks organic chocolate!
A pain/discomfort-free day.
Peace and quiet.
Having the time to stand and watch a beautiful sunset.
Finishing a complex cross-stitch pattern and seeing it framed.
A dramatic stormy sky, sunlight highlighting the rain-clouds creating a rainbow.
A good book, a cup of dragonfly earl grey tea and a packet of biscuits.
Trying a new recipe and watching others enjoy it.
Receiving a compliment out of the blue.

So, there you have it.

Happy Journeys.

Book Game

Zinnia inspired today's post with her Book Game. I was going to include this as a comment on her blog but then realised I wanted to say more than the space would allow.

Zinnia asked us to:
Take your favourite book (or, if you don’t have a favourite, then a book you like very much). Turn to page 123. Read the first three sentences to yourself. Then type the next five sentences into a comment on this blog, together with the title and author of the book. If you want to share a little background information about why you like it, how you came across it, or anything else you associate with it, please do.

I couldn't single out a favourite and some of my real favourites had boring or meaningless sentences if taken out of context.
After a very pleasant time flicking through some old friends I choose three very different books that I enjoyed immensely (two of which were listed in my Desert island books).



I wondered whether Fleur saw it too or whether she slept, exhausted, her thumb in her mouth, in a house of strangers.

"Shh, Fleurette." In my daughter's absence, it was to Mouche that I spoke, stroking the woolly head as if it might have been Fleur's hair beneath my fingers. "I'm here. It's all right."

Holy Fools by Joanne Harris (author of Chocolat)
The cover note says '... this is the story of Juliette, one-time actress and rope-dancer. Forced by circumstances to seek refuge with Fleur, her young daughter, in the remote abbey of Saint Marie-de-la-Mer, ... But times are changing ... A new appointment is made, and Juliette's new life begins to unravel. For the new Abbess ... has brought with her a ghost from Juliette's past, masquerading as a cleric, a man she has every reason to fear.'

Harris' books have something other-worldly about their lead characters. They have a depth to them that is not revealed but hinted at throughout the story. Holy Fools is no different. You learn about Juliette's past through the telling of the story. It's set in an historical and religious context but that never overpowers the story of the woman and her child hiding from the past.



Barak, who was also dismounting, laughed. "I've often thought that the secret language might be useful to know," he said, "but fingers built to grip a sword are not nimble enough for it." He held out his huge hand and shook his head.

Durnik lifted his face and sniffed at the air. "It's going to be cold tonight."

Pawn of Prophecy by David Eddings (fist book from the Belgariad)
Excerpts from the book blurb 'Long ago, so the storyteller claimed, the evil God Torak sought dominion and drove men and gods to war. ... But that was only a story, and Garion did not believe in magic dooms, ... For a while his dreams of innocence were safe, untroubled by knowledge of his strange heritage. For a little while.'

This is an epic sword and sorcery but if that isn't your thing, don't let the setting necessarily put you off. There are about twenty to thirty "supporting actors" surrounding Garion, the protagonist, all of whom are drawn with the same care and attention to those little details that make characters come alive. You not only care for Garion but you find yourself deeply involved with all the main players as you follow their part in the saga. It is a classic good against evil story. There are morals and themes within the plot - some critics say Eddings has a tendancy to preach but I never find the author's voice intruding. I would put Eddings on a par with Tolkien for the detail of his created world and would recommend reading this first book to see if you'd enjoy the rest.



Richard was thunderstruck: it had been like watching Emma Peel, Bruce Lee, and a particularly vicious tornado, all rolled into one and sprinked with a generous helping of a mongoose killing a king cobra. That was how she had moved. That was how she had fought.

Richard normally found displays of real violence unnerving. But he found watching this woman in action exhilarating, as if she were finding a part of him he had not known existed.

Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman
The blurb from the back of the book says 'Richard Mayhew is a plain man with a good heart - and an ordinary life that is changed forever on a day that he stops to help a girl he finds bleeding on a London sidewalk. From that moment forward he is propelled into a world he never dreamed existed - a dark subculture flourishing in abandoned subway stations and sewer tunnels below the city - a world far stranger and more dangerous than the only one he has ever known.'

Gaiman is in a class of his own. I think he has a wonderfully unique way of writing. Neverwhere is a very entertaining and thought provoking novel. It takes you into a completely different world where Earls Court is an empty carriage on a tube train where an earl really does hold court; there really is an angel at Islington; and Night's Bridge is a dark and dangerous place. Gaiman mixes fantasy story lines with real locations and the result is excellent.

Whose right to choose?

If this was me, then the judges would have made the right decision. I know this is a very difficult and emotive issue, dependent upon your religious and person beliefs.

However, if I were to ever enter into a persistent vegetative state, I would hate to think that my loved ones could not let me go, grieve and move on. For me, PVS is a limbo between life and death. Maybe medicine will one day develop a technique for reversing PSV, long-term comas, etc but you could say that about anything.

But this raises various other questions:

I know that living wills in the UK are not yet covered by statute but they have featured in several cases so have presumably entered into common law. If I had one, would it be honoured?

In this case, it is the husband who wants to allow her to die and yet her parents resist. I obviously do not know the ins and outs of their family circumstances nor the lady's personal beliefs. In the UK, in the absence of any advanced directive, medical note or living will, who has the right to choose my treatment?
As I am married, I would like to think that my husband's wishes would be adhered to. I would certainly trust him to take the most appropriate decisions. But I wonder whether this is actually the case. When you can no longer communicate your wishes, surely your spouse should be able to speak for you? (Which also comes back to that very difficult circumstance, when the family of a gay person (who may even have been ostracized by the family) has more legal rights of access or decision-making than that person's life-long partner.)

If there are any medical doctors reading this, I would be very interested to know where we stand in the UK.

On a lighter note, wishing you a joyful Spring Solstice/Happy Easter/long weekend. :o)

Happy Journeys

In the news ...

Two news articles caught my eye today:

"A judge in California has ruled that a law banning gay marriage in the state is unconstitutional."

This issue will ping-pong around for some time to come yet I feel but this is an interesting step. It's clear that different states have dramatically different views on same sex mariage.

As a heterosexual I have the right (providing I satisfy some basic legal requirements of age and marital status) to marry. Well, strictly speaking I had the right to marry as I did so last year!

Religious ceremonies or religious blessings of same sex unions is a matter for the religious institutions themselves. It would be nice to think that love and compassion for fellow human beings would mean that such ceremonies would be possible, but unfortunately at the moment that is often not the case.
However, I can see no logical reason against a civil union between two loving, consenting, single adults. Marriage is a complex thing and people want to get married for their own combination of reasons however I would argue that there are two main reasons for marriage:

1. most importantly, two people who love each other want to declare their commitment to each other in a suitable ceremony;
2. the rights, responsibilities and benefits of being recognised as a legal entity.

Surely, governments have no right to stop a certain sector of society in enjoying something that heterosexuals may take for granted.

I guess it's a case of watch this space ...

"The Roman Catholic Church in Italy has spoken out against what it says are "shameful and unfounded lies" in the best-selling novel The Da Vinci Code."

First and foremost this is a dramatic work. I think it is a fantastic book. Many of the places that are mentioned exist, many of the artefacts referenced can be seen in various museums, some of the theories have supporting evidence whilst others are more open to artistic license. Dan Brown skillfully incorporates all these to create an exciting and compelling novel.

I find it fascinating that the Church and some christians feel so very threatened by this novel. An acquaintance of mine was reading the book and was approached by a stranger who introduced themselves as a Christian and proceeded to say that it was all lies. My acquaintance was so taken aback that they didn't think to ask whether the person had actually read the book.

It is fact that the Bible does not contain all the writings and gospels from the time of Jesus. It is fact that humans love a mystery or hint of conspiracy. It is fact that many people over the centuries have questioned Church doctrine, beliefs and teachings. The author has tapped into this fascinating world.

I'll let Dan Brown have the last word:
"My hope in writing this novel was that the story would serve as a catalyst and a springboard for people to discuss the important topics of faith, religion, and history."

He certainly suceeded!

Happy Journeys.

The circle of life

Warning for those of a delicate nature.

Courtesy of Blackrat (his latest post is amazing - go read it ... but please come back!) I found this:

"What’s human composting? Will it ever catch on?
First you freeze a body solid. This makes it easy to shatter. Then you use vibration or ultrasound to break it down into small, easily composted pieces. These are put in a biodegradable, cornstarch "coffin" and buried about a foot and a half deep. Now you plant a tree or shrub over it. As the pieces break down and the coffin dissolves, the plant can take up the nutrients. Et voila, a living memorial."

For some time I've been fascinated by a "green" funeral. I know it might seem a bit morbid but it's something that interests me. I've always loved the idea of having a tree instead of a headstone. I can't understand the idea of spending a fortune on polished wood and brass fittings that will just be put in the ground. And cremation doesn't seem particularly environmentally friendly.

So when I read about human composting, it intrigued me. There is something very satisfying about the idea of a body breaking down and nurishing another living thing - a massive oak tree stretching it's limbs skywards for hundreds of years.


Happy Journeys

Spring has sprung

Referring back to this, I'm pleased that springtime is here.

Taking inspiration from Eleonora Duse:

"If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if a blade of grass springing up in the fields has power to move you, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive."

For me, spring has sprung when I see the first snowdrops peeking through frosty grass or, as it was this year, a layer of snow.
It was a childhood ritual, when walking with my grandparents, to "ring" the first snowbell I saw and make a wish.

Later on cheerful crocus and daffodils will follow (although with changes in horticultural practices, daffodils can now be bought in December).
It lifts my heart to hear birds sing from the branches of trees in blossom - always reminds me of the song - Kayleigh by Marillion:

"Do you remember the cherry blossom in the market square
Do you remember I thought it was confetti in our hair"

Then there is the strange spring phenomenon of trudging to work in boots through the overnight snow fall and walking home on dry pavements in glorious sunshine.

I think of sticky-looking green buds with the promise of life within barren branches, mothering sunday, planning summer holidays, easter eggs, and sorting out my summer wardrobe.

And finally I'll leave you with a poem my Dad recites every spring:

Spring has sprung,
The grass is riz.
I wonder where
The birdies is?

:o)

Happy Journeys

Jury Service - Day Seven

I'm free!!! :o)

After our case finished today, we were officially released so I have completed my first session of Jury Service. I say first as, apparently, there are problems in this area in finding enough eligible and available people to carry out Jury Service. There is always the possibility that I might be called again. But at least if that happens, I'll know what to expect.

As suspected we heard closing arguments and the Judge's summing up today. We retired to consider our verdict and after some discussion (and lunch) we came to a unanimous decision.

Trial by Jury
This experience has re-affirmed my confidence in the system of trial by Jury. In all those I met and talked to, there were only a couple of individuals who did not seem to be taking the jury service as seriously as the rest of us. The majority of people didn't really want to be there but saw it as a civic duty. They did their very best to understand the evidence that was put to them and, using common sense and life experience, came to verdicts that they felt confident and comfortable with.

The thing that did concern me and many of my fellow jurors was the somewhat obvious gaps in evidence for these cases. I have the utmost respect for the police service and am sure that the majority of officers do the very best they can. I do think, however, they are constrained by lack of time and resources, and too much bureacracy and paperwork. Simple things were missed in the three cases in which I was involved. These things may or may not have had an impact on the verdicts that we reached but never-the-less they were missing.

In a way it was sad to say goodbye to my fellow jurors today as we'd spent a fair amount of time in each others company. Overall, I think that this has been a positive experience.

Jury Service - Day Six

Well, as you can see from the title of the post - I spoke to soon. I was recalled back to active duty today. Thankfully I found some familiar faces and spent the morning laughing and debating with some very interesting people.

Which made me think of my post near New Year's Eve:

I said
Life can be difficult or scary at times but I don't want to shy away from it, I want to live it. I want to continue to move forward, I want to overcome obstacles and I want to continue proving things to myself.

I took a book with my every day to jury service so that I had something to do during the waiting. But I realised that, whilst I would obviously relish the time to read, the book would create a barrier between me and my fellow jurors. I would have been easier for me to sit in a quiet corner by myself but I would not have met these fascinating people. I'm not saying it was easy, but I'm glad that I took a few deep breaths and joined in.

As for today - I was chosen for a case. We heard the opening arguments and testimony from a couple of people. We presume that we will hear the closing arguments tomorrow.

Some people have intimated that they would have liked to be chosen for more challenging cases, but I am glad that I had been involved in "minor" crimes. To those involved, I'm sure they were not minor - a crime is a crime. But more importantly, the more challenging cases are probably more violent or distressing. It would be much more difficult to remain detached and not let emotions colour consideration of the evidence. As the old saying goes, be careful what you wish for.

Desert Island Discs

I've shamelessly bent the rules as this is quite a difficult exercse.
Why don't you give it a try.

Five Top Tunes
Evanesence, Bring me to Life
The Calling, Wherever you will go
Greenday, Time of your Life
Dido, Thank you
Annie Lennox, Into the West
(Close second - Faithless, Insomnia)

Five Fav Foods
Fish and Chips
Lincolnshire sausages, mashed potatoes and onion gravy
Fresh spinach and ricotta ravioli with tomato and basil sauce
Green and Black's organic vanilla ice cream
Red Bush Earl Grey caffeine-free tea

Five Best Books
Tolkien - The Lord of the Rings
Terry Pratchett - Carpe Jugulum or Lords and Ladies, tough choice, oh but then there's Nightwatch (oh heck - the entire discworld series if I could get away with it!)
Terry Prachett & Neil Gaiman - Good Omens
Neil Gaiman - Neverwhere
David Eddings - Belgareth the Sorcerer (preferrably the entire Belgariad and Malloreon series. Question, if three books is a trilogy, what are five books? It's driving me nuts)
(Close second - the Harry Potter series)

Five Magic Movies
The Extended Special Edition Lord of the Rings DVDs (it's one book so can't I count the movies as one too?)
Star Trek Insurrection (well, all of them but this one if I had to choose)
X-Men
Dogma
Love Actually
(Close Second - Dodgeball)

Five Must-Haves
My Hubby
An unlimited supply of adhesive chemical heat pads (fab for IBS)
Pair of warm fluffy slippers
My cross stitch supplies
A laptop and internet connection with unlimited power source so I can check mail, play Star Wars Galaxies and blog! :o)

What more could a girl want?

Happy Journeys

The Power of Blogs

If you read nothing else today, please read this.

World Book Day

I missed the day itself, being rather pre-occupied with my Jury Service, however I thought I'd catch up today.

I want to recommend an author I've found. Her books are not intellectually challenging, booker prize winning or indeed very "literature"-like but they are cracking good reads (if you like this sort of thing).

Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself.

The author is Laurell K Hamilton and she writes a series called Anita Blake, Vampire Slayer (yup, that gives you a big clue, hehe).

On the recommendation of a friend I purchased a boxed set of the first four books in the series:

Guilty Pleasures
The Laughing Corpse
Circus of the Damned
The Lunatic Cafe

On the downside, which I'm sure was just a decision by the publishing house, the books that I purchased had covers which put me in mind of trashy erotic fiction. But it wasn't the cover I was reading so I put up with that.

The storyline, if you hadn't guessed, feels like Buffy with balls! It is set in what appears to be modern day America, but it is an America in which vampires have legal status (they cannot be slain without a court approved execution order). Anita Blake is a young woman who has a certain affinity with the dead and, by extension, the undead.

Too much more would spoil the story but suffice it to say that she does her fair share of vampire hunting ... although perhaps not always for the reasons that you would expect.

The entire story is written in the first person which is not something I'm used to but it works very well in building tension.

I won't say these are the best books I've ever read and unfortuantely, there are times when you feel the publishers should look for a new proof-reader.
That said, she is very good at creating, maintaining and then heightening tension to almost unbearable levels. Her characters are well drawn and she skillfully manipulates your sympathies, so much so that I found myself in a particular scene concerned that a master vampire might be killed!

If you're looking for high-brow, avoid. If you're looking for an entertaining read in an unusual alternate reality then please give them a try.

Happy Journeys.

Jury Service - Day Five

It was snowing quite heavily this morning when I got up so I had a slip-slidey walk to the station. I managed to make it without falling on my bum which quite pleased me. :o)

Fairly quickly, the majority of the jury was gathered together so we warmed up with a hot drink, discussed who would like to be our foreman and made small talk whilst waiting to be called back in.

Unfortunately one of our number had been unavoidably delayed so the Judge took the decision to carry on without him which quite surprised me - so I learnt something today. :o)

We heard the closing argument - well presented by the defence counsel, I thought. The judge directed us on various points of law and we retired to consider our verdict. However, it was not going to be as easy as perhaps some of us had thought.

The previous case, after we all put forward our points, we fairly quickly came to a unanimous verdict. Today, however, didn't go as smoothly. The group dynamics were obviously different as people had difficulty with the concept of letting everyone express their own view before opening it up for debate. At times, the discussions were quite heated and even became personal.

In a sense, it showed that we all took our responsibility very seriously and that we were determined to come to the right decision. But, it also meant that it was emotionally very draining.

I was glad to get home this evening, put my tunes on (Limp Bizkit's "Break Stuff" seems to adequately express my mood at present) and have a huge cup of hot chocolate.

I have been put on stand-by status which means that I am not required to report back in next week but I may be contacted to go on a case if they run out of jurors. So my blog-within-a-blog was shorter than expected and I will be back at work next week. After today's case I'm quite happy but part of me is disappointed as it has been a very educational and sociable experience.

Case Dismissed.

Jury Service - Day Four

Today started promisingly as my name was called fairly early on but nothing else happened. Luckily I was sat with a good group of ladies some of whom I'd met earlier on the week. Our topics of conversation were wide and varied. One lady was a hospital Matron and it was enlightening to hear some of her stories. Another lady was the wife of an undertaker so we spent a good half to three-quarters of an hour on funerals which was more entertaining than it sounds!

We finally found out that case wasn't going to be heard today but I was called again for a different case at about 2:45.

We went to a different part of the court building and I was again selected to be part of the Jury. We were advised that it would be a fairly short case so that sounds promising. Different Judge, Prosecuting and Defending counsel so that was interesting to compare the differences to the previous case I was on.

We had a very stern usher. The others that we had seen and had contact with had been serious when needed but also friendly and chatty. This particular usher seemed to view us jurers as unpredictable, chaotic elements in the controlled procedural world of trials. That was my impression anyway - I'm sure they were very nice ordinarily.

We heard all the witnesses and all the evidence was presented. We have to go back for 11:00am tomorrow morning to hear final closing arguments and the Judge's summing up.

Court adjourned.

Jury Service - Day Three ... Crime and Punishment

Last night, I was musing on what would happen today - i.e. we the jury would retire to consider our verdict.

There are two levels of surety juries must have - either beyond all reasonable doubt and the balance of probabilities. In our case, we were asked to decide beyond all reasonable doubt whether or not the defendent was guilty.

It got me thinking ... the decision that the 12 of us were going to make today would affect the defendent (for good or bad). In a relatively minor case the affect would be similarly minor, plus the possibility of a criminal record which is not so minor I guess.
However, say I lived in America and I was on a murder trial. My decision then could have a very major and potentially terminal affect on the defendent's life. How you react to that depends very much on your view on the death penalty. Personally, I think it is abhorrent.

No justice system is completely infallible. Even if one believed beyond reasonable doubt that the defendent was guilty, that little doubt would surely run around one's head screaming "what if you're wrong?!". If wrong, an innocent person could be murdered by the state.

I don't believe in an eye for an eye. Our system of fines, probation, community service, custodial sentences is far from perfect but it would be inconceivable to me for my taxes to be used by the government to murder my fellow citizens. The government and ultimately the country is then tarnished by the same crime as that committed by the defendent in my view.

Apologies for that rant/digression. Back to today ...

This morning, we heard the Judge's summing up and legal instructions. We then retired to consider our verdict. I think it went very smoothly - we elected our foreman; everyone said their two-penneth, raised concerns, asked questions, etc; we argued a few points out for while; then we took a vote and we were unanimous first time.

We went back into court and gave our verdict. What happened next was interesting as the Judge consulted with the defence and the prosecution as to what they though was the best course of action. It was quite interesting to listen. The judge turned to us and explained why the discussion was taking place. He then addressed the defendent and explained what was happening.

The judge was very nice - he spoke to us afterwards thanking us for the job that we'd done, saying that he put a high value on the jury system in this country and felt that our contribution to the process of justice was very important.

As we walked out there was also an unspoken word of thanks in the form of a discreet smile on one of the barrister's faces.

Back to waiting.

Jury Service - Day Two

Had a bit of a lie-in this morning (bliss) and got to court just after 10:00. The courts are in a lovely building - I'm not entirely sure whether it's as old as it looks or built to look old ... something for me to find out when I'm bored. But either way it's very impressive. Went through the security checks like an old pro this morning - unzipped my bag ready and sauntered through the air-port style scanner. I always heave a sigh of relief when the alarms stay silent - even though I know I'm not carrying anything I shouldn't.

I met up with one of my follow rejects from yesterday and we settled in for a wait, chatting with a group of ladies. One by one, cases were called and our fellow jurors went off to do their bits. We were deep in a discussion about weddings, dresses, venues, etc and the bailiff called our names out.

I was expecting the same kind of routine as yesterday - lots of sitting around until they decided they actually needed us. Instead, they led us straight into the court room and before I knew it, my name had been called and I was on the jury.

It was very interesting to witness first hand the exchange between Judge, prosecutor and defence advocate. I think I'm right in saying that they were both barristers in tab-collared shirts, full black robes and wigs. I've decided I don't ever want to be a witness - it's alright doing your bit with the "good cop" advocate but a bit scary when opposing counsel starts into you! :o)

It was a strange mix of formal and informal - there wasn't a lot of legal jargon and the atmosphere was - well, not relaxed but - I suppose calm is the right word; but on the other hand, it was "my learned colleague", "your Honour", "the Crown is grateful", etc which was rather cool.

We have to be back at court ready to start at 10:00 tomorrow so not so much of a lie-in tomorrow. This case should be quite short so it might be back to the waiting game on Wednesday.

Your witness.